Ask yourself this: Do you become nervous when you are placed in the spotlight? Do strangers make you shudder? Does the simple thought of talking in front of people make you want to run to the nearest restroom? Do you immediately want to leave that restroom if someone else is in there already?
Well guess what... you're not alone! Many people in the world suffer from mild to extreme shyness, and are struggling to overcome it! Remember that breaking out from that shell doesn't magically happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and of course, the desire to change. The following are some tips to assist you in overcoming shyness.
Figure out what makes you feel shy. Do you become shy in front of new audiences? When learning a new skill? When venturing into a new situation? When surrounded by people you know and admire? When you don't know anyone somewhere? Try to pinpoint the thoughts that go through your head right before the shyness hits. Then come up with some "I" statements that you can repeat to yourself, like a mantra, to head off those thoughts: "I can do this", "I look good", "I have something to offer", etc.
2Build your self confidence. Everyone has some special gift or trait to offer to the world. It may sound corny, but it's true. Think about what you know, what you can do, and what you have accomplished, rather than fixating on how you look, sound, or dress. Keep in mind that everyone, even the "beautiful people", has something about themselves or their life that they don't like. There's no particular reason why your "problem" should make you shy while their "problem" doesn't make them shy.
3Get comfortable. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, and build up your confidence through them. Eventually, this will translate to other situations being more comfortable.
4Close your eyes and visualize a situation where you might be shy. Now, in your mind's eye, make yourself feel confident. Do this often, and for different situations. This is most effective if you do this daily, especially in the morning. It might feel silly, but athletes use visualization to develop their skills, so why not you?
5Maintain close bonds with your friends, as they can be there for you as you crack out of your shell. They'll be happy to help and encourage you with your progress.
6Look and act approachable. Convey an open, friendly attitude with your body language.
7Smile and make eye contact. A simple smile in the direction of a stranger may brighten your day, and it will brighten theirs too! Smiling is a friendly way to acknowledge others, and it makes a pretty good lead-in to start a conversation with anyone, stranger or friend.
8Practice good posture and speaking clearly. Standing tall gives the world the impression that you are self-confident and receptive to others. Speaking clearly will help avoid the potential embarrassment of needing to repeat what you said due to mumbling or talking too quietly.
9Laugh often, but only at things you find genuinely amusing. It will help ease any tension you may be feeling and will make you feel more relaxed.
10Don't look preoccupied. Don't work on papers, text or do your make-up if you want someone to talk to you.
11Set goals for yourself. Focus on small, daily accomplishments, then gradually become more daring.
12Make a list of situations that make you feel anxious. Order them so that those things that cause you the least anxiety are first and those that cause you the most anxiety are last. Once you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations, start working through them, one-by-one. The first few "easier" situations will help build your confidence so that you can continue moving to more difficult situations on your list. Don't worry if you have to go backwards on the list sometimes; take it at your own pace, but make an effort to push yourself.
13Introduce yourself to one new person each day. It is often easier to talk with strangers, at least briefly. After all, you may never see them again, so who cares what they think about you?
14Make new friends. Talk to somebody you would not normally think about having a conversation with. Try to find people who share one or more of your interests and make plans to talk to them. Initiate conversation with a simple starter, such as, "That's a nice bag, where did you get it?" or "It's really nice outside, don't you think?" Most people are good-natured and will be receptive to smalltalk.
15Try doing stuff you never dreamed you would. Doing something really exciting, like sky diving, will: a) provide an endorphin rush; and b) give you a story to tell when you are making conversation with people. And if you can find the courage to do something that big, then something like talking to a co-worker, your boss or a potential date should seem easy.
16Don't compare yourself to others. - The more you compare yourself to others, the more you will feel that you are not able to measure up and the more intimidated you will feel, which will make you shyer.
17Follow the rules, but don't overdo it - Loosen up sometimes! Don't be uptight about everything you do. If you are trying to conform to social standards wherever you go, you'll probably have feeling that you are not doing something right and are more likely to clam up. Try not to obsess about what everyone thinks about you. People like fun and exciting people. You can become interesting by taking small risks, one step at a time. Life's short - make the most of it!
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